


Friends Are Stupid.

by Sweet_Liar



Category: Danganronpa
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Before Danagnronpa, Bullying, Depression, Hate/Love feelings, Just squint, M/M, Saiouma-ish, Some Fluff, Suicidal Thoughts, Tags to be added, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-10-08 00:47:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17376338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweet_Liar/pseuds/Sweet_Liar
Summary: Kokichi has his beliefs.They can either make him, or break him.Life was just colorless, until someone he hoped never to see again makes a reappearance.Would that person color his life again? Or leave it duller, duller than the last time they up and left.





	1. Stupid human.

Friends are stupid.

No one needs them. 

Well… except humans. Stupid beings who want other people to make them feel better. So they don’t get sad. Or depressed. All things which are too stupidly predictable. Because stupid humans need friends because they can’t support themselves. And guess what, all humans are stupid. 

Kokichi clenched his fists together in anger as he tried not to scream. “So that’s it, huh?” He said through his teeth. “Just because there nicer than me, just because they ignore issues I’d love to comfort?!” His voice began to escalate. His “friend” backing away from him. “Well I didn’t like you anyway! So go! Just leave!” The boy in front of him mumbled _“gladly”_ and ran off. 

That was his third “friend” gone like the wind. 

But he’ll just tell himself 5 simple words to calm his nerves. 

_Maybe next time, they’ll stay._

But as he knows, as soon as someone shows interest in hanging out with him. Cling to him, show him kindness. Kokichi agrees to a friendship. They hang out, they grow closer. The minute Kokichi wants to get closer, talk about deeper subjects. The little philosophies in his head, he’d love to share with his “best friend”. But the minute he opens his mouth and starts talking about why did people murder other people? What causes other people to get angry? What makes a person kind a doormat? Or his favorite, the topic of lies. The wide sea of them Kokichi loves to visit. But for some reason the person with him gets uncomfortable. 

Avoiding eye contact. Fidgeting. Wanting to change the subject. Needing to leave the conversation for a pointless and stupidly dumb reason. Why? 

“Hey, it’s been awhile, wanna hang out?” A kind offer Kokichi gives. 

...But of course, all good things must come to an end. 

“...no, maybe next week?” The girl offered back, full of hesitation. 

Kokichi laughed, but he wasn’t happy. “Really? Because this is the fourth time you said that to me. If you don’t want to hang out anymore then it’s fine with me!” He stormed off, 

...yeah, he never spoke to her again. 

Kokichi would tell himself that he didn’t care if people didn’t like him after a while, and simply just left without a second thought. But it was a lie he just couldn’t believe, the truth burned holes right through it. How would you explain the marks and cuts on his fists? Almost as if had punched something out of frustration, or the red mark on his forehead that he had gotten from slamming his head into the wall. Wanting to feel anything but loneliness. 

But time after time, he was losing his hope. What was making people leave like they were? Was he too boring? Too needy for attention? Talked too much? 

Well whatever it was, it didn’t matter anymore. 

The next time someone showed interest in him. He'd shoot them an insult, the person would run off and not bother him anymore. He smiled, if he kept this up, then no one would ever get that close to him. 

It wasn’t a dumb plan… at the time. 

He is just a stupid human, with stupid needs, stupid wants, and he was pretty sure if you searched up the definition of “Stupid” His picture would show up. Because it only took him months after the fact he started pushing people away that he learned that he would be alone. He didn’t know why people didn’t like him before but whatever he was doing was making it worse. 

Over time he felt emptier and emptier. To the point where the emptiness hurt. It was the worst feeling. A pain you can’t get rid of by painkillers. Or anything Kokichi could think of. It was a hollow pain, where it feels like your chest is simply empty. A constant pressure lingering there, reminding you how truly not okay you were. The emotions were building up over the years. Layering, and becoming thicker. But the harder it was to befriend Kokichi, the better. Because the pain of being left behind by someone you once cared about was much worse. 

Kokichi felt sad, he felt like screaming most times, or sobbing. Or something. But no matter what, he couldn’t think of something to release these deadly emotions that were slowly killing him. Sometimes the pressure would become too much, but Kokichi never would break. He was strong in that way. He might shake, tremble, tear up, but he would never lose his composure. He couldn’t. People would feel bad and try to weave themselves into his life and he really couldn’t afford that happening. 

Even if he had some type of “friendship” with someone, he never expected anything out it. So if the person left, he would never be disappointed or feel that pain. But of course that isn't healthy. He never actually cared about the person, he just acted like it. Once one of his “friends” died in a car crash and everyone around him had gotten concerned. Kokichi didn’t shed even one tear. He just didn’t care. That’s when kids in his neighborhood had started calling him “The heartless one”. 

Kokichi shrugged at the name, he wasn’t offended. In fact, it was quite accurate. 

The day he moved from his first home, he didn’t care. His parents had gotten worried. When they had situated in the new town they got him a therapist. Which of course didn’t go well because Kokichi never cooperated. Or lied about every little thing that even his therapist got frustrated with him. They hid it well, but still. Kokichi simply could not be saved. 

Stupid human. 

All his therapist told his parents was that he had trust issues. 

_“No duh, Sherlock.”_

He entered his new school. Not feeling the stress of being the new kid in town, he just blended in. No one approached him. No one cared. He knew all his classmates names and never used them unless he wanted to insult them somehow. 

One day, after school he was being picked on by a person who likes to torture everyone in the school. He was no one important, just an easy target at the time. “You got a big mouth for such a small little boy.” they had said. “Yeah well you got a small brain for such a big guy.” Kokichi lazily replied. Making the other angry. The other rather muscular student pushed Kokichi against the wall hard. But not hard enough to chase the smirk on his face away. “Say one for thing about me and I won’t give you a one way ticket to hell.” 

Kokichi giggled. “Would it disappoint you if I said I’m already there? Because the ugly little devils there are looking for their dumb twin brother, and I think I found him!” That’s when the other boy grabbed his shoulders and he was struck hard in the stomach with their knee. He bite his tongue to keep from gasping in pain. “You’re the same as all the losers in this school, Don’t your parents even realize they are proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?” 

Kokichi didn’t say anything, he didn’t care. 

“I’ve gotten sick and tired of you pricks thinking you belong here, if it were up to me all of you ugly, dumb kids should die. It would make my life and a bunch of others easier.” 

Kokichi snickered. Did this guy think he was being clever? “Then by your definition… that would include you.” Kokichi smirked, only to receive a punch to the face. “Just go kill yourself, your most likely one of those depressed kids asking for attention. No one's going to give it to you. So you can end your pathetic life, and stop making a big deal about some stupid sadness. Anyone with depression is weak. Everyone gets sad, those types of people can’t even handle it. So just die.” Kokichi got another punch to the face. He felt the blood drip down his chin from the hard blow to his lip. 

“Pathetic.” The boy spit in his face and walked away. 

Kokichi slid down to the floor and wrapped his arms around his knees. 

Moments like these he wished he had a friend. Someone to help him out of situations like these because he was a weak person. He obviously could never do it himself. 

And about what that boy said… Just die, huh? Well, the sad thing was… Kokichi wanted to. But he hated himself to the point where he believed he deserved to suffer. He didn’t deserve the sweet relief of death. He deserved to suffer, so why not force himself to live? Seems hellish enough. 

He heard footsteps coming down the hallway. Kokichi stood up quickly, not wanting to draw attention to himself. The person spotted him, with a worried expression clear on their face. “Hey, are you okay?” the person asked. Kokichi stared at the other. A gentle look about him. He had that emo edge to him, but It seems like he was genuinely asking. “Yeah, I’m fine. Now mosey on along with the rest of your day.” Kokichi said dully. The boy looked slightly hurt, but didn’t move. “Are you the new kid? Kokichi Ouma, right?” He asked, someone must of told the boy about him. 

“And if I am?” Kokichi asked, with a bit more irritation. 

“Oh… well, if you are then I’m Shuichi Saihara.” 

Kokichi froze. How had he not recognized. 

Shuichi Saihara? 

... 

_The boy who taught him what heartbreak felt like...?_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“Hey! Can I call you Shumai?” A 9 year old Kokichi asked. 

“Shu-mai?” Shuichi asked. Kokichi nodded. “It’s perfect for my beloved Shumai! Since we’ve been friends for a couple years and all… wanna give me a nickname?” Kokichi asked with a small voice. “Hmm…” Shuichi thought. “I don’t know… I’ve never really been creative with names. How about ‘Kichi? Koko? Koko-wala?” Kokichi laughed at the last one. 

“Am I too clingy for you? That’s mean Shumai! No, wait I take that nickname back! Shuichi is the worst!” The small boy wailed. “N-No! I mean… Koalas are cute if you like that better than clingy…” Shuichi blushed. Kokichi perked up. “Shuichi called me cute! Shumai called me cute! You called me cute! You like me or something!? You’re soooo gross! I’m going to get Shumai cooties now!” 

The two sat on a rug in Kokichi’s home, Kokichi’s mother was in the other room doing work and had just told them to quiet down a bit. “Wanna play the quiet game?” Kokichi whispered. Shuichi nodded with a smile. “Whoever makes a noise first loses!” The purple haired boy added. “Three, two, one, mum!” 

It didn’t last too long as Kokichi grabbed a water gun from nowhere and squirted Shuichi in the face. “Ah!?” 

Kokichi laughed. “You lose! I win!” he danced around Shuichi tauntingly. “Hey, I didn’t know we were going to play dirty.” Shuichi said with a frown, but he wasn’t actually mad. Just playing along with Kokichi. “Haha! You should know that’s how I work by now!” 

Later that day both had gone out for a walk to the playground, around the time the sun was setting. Kokichi kicked his legs back and forth on the swing, testing how high he could go. “...’Kichi…” A sad voice spoke. “Yeeeesss Shumai?” Kokichi stopped his swinging and slowed to a stop. “We can’t see eachother anymore…” Shuichi said. Looking at the ground as he sat motionless on his swing. Kokichi looked at him with confusion and hurt. “What do you mean?” 

“I-I mean… I can’t see you anymore. I just can’t… My parents said I can’t…” He hung his head low, feeling hurt as well. “Since when do we listen to them? I’m sure you can still see me! Or… I’ll see you!” Shuichi only shook his head. “no...I’m sorry Kokichi… I...I just can’t…” 

Kokichi jumped off his swing and latched his hands on the chains of Shuichi’s swing. “You can’t go! Friends stay with friends! Is this the last time we see each other?!” Kokichi was frantic, not liking this situation at all. “...Y-Yes…” When Shuichi said that, Kokichi wrapped his arms around Shuichi, pulling him off the swing. “I won’t let you leave! For whatever stupid reason, you’re not leaving! I’d be all alone! You know how the kids at school treat me!” 

Shuichi frowned. He grabbed Kokichi’s wrists and pulled him off. “I’m sorry, Kokichi.” 

Shuichi left the playground without looking back. Kokichi wanted to seem strong about it but he cried nonetheless. When he saw Shuichi in school, Shuichi just ignored him. When he both accidantally caught one anothers eyes, Shuichi looks away quickly. If Shuichi saw Kokichi getting bullied he never stepped in. He was so cold towards him. Kokichi felt a pain in his chest and was unsure of what it was. His heart felt wounded and it made him want to scream. 

After a week he never saw Shuichi at school. He was gone. Erased from his life. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

But here, 7 years later, he stands right in front of him. 

“Then yes, I’m Kokichi Ouma. It’s not nice to meet you.” 


	2. New Feeling

Shuichi seemed sad. He probably remembered Kokichi, and now it seems that Kokichi didn’t remember him.

“Ah… Sorry, are you sure you’re okay? Your lip is bleedi-” 

“I’m fine, now leave me alone.” 

Kokichi continued to walk away. Despite Shuichi telling him to wait. 

He felt something. A new feeling… a feeling of hope, Kokichi didn’t like it. He hoped that Shuichi would save him, he hoped he would tell him all those stupid kind words people lived off of. 

What a stupid human he was. 

When Kokichi got home he was planning on going straight to his room, but he was stopped by loud arguing. 

“You wasted all the savings! How are we going to pay for the bills now?!” 

“Shut up women, I needed this! Because of you I suffer from your idiotic mistakes!” 

“Don’t you dare bring this back to me! You’re drunk! Now put the bottle down and I’m calling the police!” 

“They aren’t going to do anything! I’m not drunk! You’re going to make a fool out of yourself!” 

“You drove home like this!- L-Let go of me!” 

Kokichi quietly peered around the corner. He didn’t have any patience to deal with this right now. When he saw his father hit her. She felt to the ground, cowering in fear. Kokichi wanted to help her, even if she was as bad as her husband. But ...he still had that mark from last time he tried. 

He ran to his room and locked the door. Pushing his dresser in front of it. He didn’t feel like dealing with him today. It was probably best to get at least 3 hours of sleep tonight. 

That plan didn’t work. Maybe he got at least 1 hour and 30 minutes of sleep before he woke up to obnoxious pounding at his door. Obviously being his father. After about 20 minutes, silence came back and Kokichi couldn’t find the exhaustion to sleep. So he allowed himself to think about Shuichi. 

How much older he looked. Those eyes that were full of worry and hurt. His hair still the same color as he last seen him, soft and silky. Pale as ever. Why was he blushing? He never thought this about any of his ex-friends. 

Was Shuichi special to him? ….yes, he was his very first best friend. Did he have a crush on him when he was that young? ….probably. So his heart never truly let memories and feelings of Shuichi fade? Damn you, heart. 

Kokichi groaned when he saw the clock was only at 2:32am. Time always loved to move slowly. So he passed the time by looking at his phone. Scrolling through his photos, he saw a picture of him and Shuichi playing with a puzzle. Out of frustration to see Shuichi he threw his phone to the other side of the room. Hoping that it cracked and shattered into a million pieces. 

That photo was taken by his mother when they were little. Kokichi forgot when he got his phone when going into middle school she sent him that. Why was Shuichi suddenly making a reappearance in his life? When Kokichi was perfectly fine without him. (That was a lie but Kokichi liked to believe otherwise.) 

The next morning went the same. He got up, went to school, suffered through it, came home, ignored sleep and repeat. But as he was in school, he was wondering… Since when did Shuichi go to this school? Did he move here those years ago or something? The gods must hate him. A lot. 

He really hoped his classes and Shuichi’s classes were different. 

But by the seconded to last class of the day, he walked in and saw him in the front row. He laughed to himself. 

Oh you stupid, stupid human. 

Luckily he sat in the third row. 

“Were changing seats today! Some students prove that they can’t handle themselves! So we need to rearrange some people!” The teacher said, shooting a glare at Kokichi. The teacher went on listing students. Kokichi only half-listened. “ _Blah blah blah-_ Kokichi Ouma next to Shuichi Saihara, who is next to- _blah blah._ ” 

Kokichi face palmed. 

Yep, the gods hated him. 

It was simple, ignore him and he’ll eventually ignore you. 

And that’s how it went. Everytime Shuichi tried to initiate a conversation, Kokichi would pretend he didn’t exist. Just like Shuichi did to him in school all those years ago. 

He really shouldn’t hold grudges like this. But Kokichi never liked ‘Shoulds’. And he wasn’t exactly doing this because Shuichi did it to him. He didn’t hate Shuichi, he just didn’t want to know him. He just wished he never cared. 

After school he ran into more trouble. It was the same boy from the other day except he was with more of his lackies. They really do disgust Kokichi, they swarm in on him, and start with stupid comments and slowly get physical. 

“Aww he’s so small, the runt of a broken family?” “I bet he has a tiny squeaky voice, come on, speak!” “Nah, it’s better to let us think he’s an idiot then him opening his mouth to prove it.” “I bet you could snap his little neck in half easily, but he’s probably thinking about killing himself already.” 

They spoke amongst each other, as if looking at an animal from the circus. Kokichi was getting frustrated. 

He scoffed. “If I were to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.” Kokichi spat, getting ticked off at these brutes. The taller boys shot him a glare, but Kokichi saw them smirk. “Oh looks like the child can speak, but is he all bark but no bite?” Two of them grabbed Kokichi’’s arms and pinned him against the wall. “I typically am against animal abuse but you’re a special case.” One said as they delivered a rather strong punch to Kokichi stomach. 

Kokichi coughed as the two who held him threw him to the ground. “Whos the idiot talking now?” One of the boys laughed. Kokichi could only muster a small smile. “Well of course I sound like an idiot…. How else would you understand me?” Then someone kicked him in the face. “Keep talking, one day you’ll learn that nobody's listening.” He wanted to laugh. He already knew that. 

“Hey!” 

All the boys turned to see who yelled. 

“Stop hurting him!” 

Kokichi turned his head to see who his savior was. Some random kid? 

“And who’s stopping us?!” 

“I have video of you doing this, you could very well be expelled. So stop now.” 

Shuichi. Why. Why him. 

Kokichi turned to look back at that ground. _Nope, continue hurting me._

He didn’t know what happened but the boys around his ran away and he heard his voice. 

“Hey, are you okay?” 

He felt Shuichi grab his arm and lift him back up. “Do I look okay to you?” Kokichi asked, not wanting an answer. He pulled from Shuichi grip and turned to walk away. “Kokichi don’t ignore me!” Kokichi turned back around to face Shuichi. “Ignore you? I don’t ignore you, I fully acknowledge your existence.” 

Without another word Kokichi turned his back to Shuichi and walked home. 

“Why are you home so late!?” His mother screamed. Kokichi gave her a dull look. “Sorry, my home life isn’t the only thing I’m involved with.” 

“So you’re seeing someone?!” She slapped Kokichi upside the head. 

“Relationships won’t help you! Did you ever listen to a word that therapist told you!? I spent money on that and it proves to go to waste!? I don’t know what god was thinking when he gave me a son like you.” 

His mother left the house slamming the door. 

Kokichi rubbed his stinging cheek. If only that was the only thing that stung. Kokichi left to his room, it was easy since his father seemed to having a night out. 

If only time could reverse. 

Just reverse to the time when he didn’t feel so worthless.


	3. Play Nice

The next morning he left early. Not caring about how much sleep he got that night, which was none. Maybe he wouldn’t even go to school. Who cared? Not him, or anyone else. His story was just so typical. It frustrated him. He was nothing new.

So what? He was just another low income family. Abusive parents. Drunk and stupid. He’s depressed. Lots of suicide plans he’d never conduct. Don’t forget he was bullied. 

Who hasn’t heard of that? It’s the same thing over...and over...and over. No wonder people are sick of it. These kids who suffer from such a deadly mental issue kill themselves because of lack of care. They believe deep down that know one could hold any amount of care for them, despite being told that people do. 

What a stupid human he was. 

Such a stupid, stupid human. 

He was nothing special. A repeating story. Might as well hit the thumbs down button and leave the five stars empty from a golden form. Even if his life was a story. He’d love to read the hateful, unsatisfied, comments. 

Not that it would be surprising. 

He ran a hand through his already messy hair. He laughed at himself. What was he then? A hopeless romantic? A story to end with heavy angst? Maybe a fluffy one. He admits, he does read a ton of fanfictions on animes he never bothered to watch. 

He labeled himself boring. Unentertaining. 

Why in the world did he still have hope? It burned like a dying flame in his darkened heart that was trying to steal the oxygen around it. It hurt him while it tried to save him the sickening feeling of disappointment. 

Stupid humans didn’t deserve to trust other stupid humans. 

It tightened his chest and throat. Just thinking about the potential trap he saw in the nearing future. It had one name. One name. Just one name that burned his heart. The candle still light kept going, simply by holding onto that name. His heart never forgot. It never forgot it’s first burn. That burn had a name. 

_Shuichi._

Saying that name felt like venom was dripping from his mouth like blood would after a good beating. Then again. That venom was the antidote to his most open wounds. He knew it. He knew for a fact that if he opened his scarred arms just one more time to one more person, he might break. He had to be careful. His heart was screaming that name. 

Maybe before he said he held no anger towards him. Or held any grudges. But truth was, he was furious with this boy. _Shuichi, Saihara._ Both emotions boiled up to the surface when the name slipped into his mind. Hate and love. His fists clenched in anger of the confusion you get when both clashed. That’s like putting a vibrant orange next to puke green. Disgusting. 

He hated to admit it. He did. It made him raw with fury. But Shuichi Saihara without mercy cut a hole into his chest, and stole his heart. At such a young age. He wanted to have nothing to do with him. He wanted nothing, absolutely nothing with the boy. He wanted him out of his head. He was like a horrible disease. One with no cure. 

He laughed. That hollow laugh when you don’t know what to do with your life. He read many stories on the hanahaki disease. Of course the sickness doesn’t really exist. He knows how it works. You cough up blood and flowers until you die or your beloved loves you back. He sure felt like he had it. Minus the blood and flowers. 

No matter how much he never wanted to see Shuichi. 

No matter how much he cringed at the sight of him. 

He wanted him. 

So, so, so badly. 

He was at the school building already. The teacher pets already here, early as ever. He played games on his phone. School would start in at least 15 minutes. Kids already filling the halls. He went to his first class. Taking his seat and pulling out a pen. Chuckling quietly to himself. He remembered those Soulmate stories. Some with red strings and others with a pen. Writing on the skin and it would show up on your soulmates skin. 

He doodled on his palm. He wished it was real. But life felt like one big fake joke to him. Reality really liked to take the fun away. 

Stupid human. 

Humans like to disappear into their fantasies to run from reality. Where friends exist. Where true love played. Opportunities were given, the ones you’d never find in real life. 

He ripped a small piece of paper out of his empty notebook. Writing a note. Not caring how unreadable it was. He folded it up and planned to slip it into _someones_ locker later today. 

He laughed. 

_Let’s play the quiet game._

_Shuichi Saihara._

___________________ 

The game was simple. 

All Shuichi had to do was follow the rules. 

To shut up and stay quiet. 

If he succeeded in not approaching him or speaking to him, then they were going to meet in the language arts room after school. In three weeks time. Giving Kokichi three weeks of no Shuichi. That’s 21 days. If Shuichi plays accordingly. If he doesn’t, then Kokichi will simple ignore him till the day he dies. Shuichi’s smart enough to know Kokichi isn’t joking around. Or was he? Guess he had to find out. 

He knew Shuichi wouldn’t give up. The kid was unpredictable sometimes. 

Only four days into this silence, that fact was proven. 

_If you don’t want me to talk to you, notes are acceptable. Right? Before we talk in person, I just wanted to let you know a couple things. I hope to start off new with you. I loved you as my friend before. … I want you to know I’m sorry for what I did. To make you so angry. Completely understandable. I would be upset too. See you in that classroom._

_-Shuichi Saihara_

Kokichi crumpled the note up and threw it in the nearest garbage can. He wasn’t breaking any rules by sending notes. Loopholes. He should have seen that before. He hated this. If Shuichi just went away for good, the warm feeling in his chest would go away and he wouldn’t be staying up at night thinking about him. His face wouldn’t heat up and emotions would be reasonable again. 

He laughed. More so scoffing. _“I loved you as my friend before.”_ Friend? Yeah right. That was hinting at making amends. He didn’t want to make amends. This anger he kept was in the right. Shuichi was no good for him. So why keep him around. This little meeting in the classroom was hopefully going to break it off. He was already preparing his lines and scanning over a couple of things Shuichi would say back. 

“I hate Shuichi.” He said under his breath. “I hate him, I hate him, I hate him…” He muttered. Lies, lies, lies, lies. Stupid human wanting stupid friends. Stupid love. He hated it. It was dangerous. He played with emotions and other people's feelings, but he never got attached. That was a big no-no. Yet here he was. Shuichi on his mind all the time when he was supposed to stay out of his thoughts. Contaminating his genius brain. If only he was so powerful as to have everyone listen to him. No matter what. 

Like some sort of dictator or leader. People would be too scared of him to disobey his words. Kokichi would laugh in their faces. Order them around. Seeing how much they liked getting the short end of the stick. He would be the untouchable, unfazeable, heartless, evil lord over all. Of course it was fantasy. But maybe one day it would come true. 

He would never get ganged up on. Beaten or spoken rudely to. They would rather die then stand anywhere near him. Speaking his name would be worse than spitting in the emperor's face. They would coward at his feet, and kiss the ground he walked on because Kokichi said so. Next to him would be the smartest in all of the country. A clever boy with raven hair that looked black in the dead of night. 

A smart boy. Amber eyes that look soft and approachable in day but sharp gold by the time moon was overhead. An angel with a curse to have the wings of demons. Maybe a detective. To help you but interrogate you if he sees fit. Maybe he’ll go as far as torture. Kokichi shook his head. To rid of the image of him tied to a chair while Shuichi questions him. A dream that would never come true. Shuichi was an ordinary kid in school getting straight A’s. Kokichi was ordinary too. He passes as most bratty. 

Why did Shuichi have to be so beautiful? So captivating? Kokichi wouldn’t mind being tied up by him. Being chased by him. Being wanted by him. A good guy with bad. A traditional story where the protagonist tries to defeat the antagonist. Most shippers put the two together. The fan art is insane. He wouldn’t mind seeing his face everywhere. In wanted posters or shrines. 

He reviewed his thoughts. Giggling. _That’s kinky._ He thought. To be enemies with Saihara was preferable, as much as he liked to be roughed up in an interrogation room. Friends are stupid. Too much work. But enemies were fun. He knew how to play dirty. Friends played nice. 

_He hated to play nice._

_______ 

_“Sir we have scouted two candidates to fill the spots. I’ve sent over their information already. Does it meet the accommodations?”_

_“It does, perfectly too. Get them soon. This seasons going to be a hit. I just know it.”_


	4. Forgotten Friend

Nervous was one way to put it.

Shuichi followed the rules. Like Kokichi kinda expected. 

He was the first one in the classroom. He got cleaning duty punishment for being disruptant. Nothing surprising. Worked out quite well. He was sitting on the desk, scribbling doodles on his wrists. The place that would hold more violent evidence. But he wasn’t that too far gone. Pen would suffice for now. He heard the classroom door open but he didn’t look up. 

“Kokichi…?” That familiar voice called out. He heard his footsteps come closer. Only stopping when Kokichi told him to. “Stay right there dear Saihara-chan. I don’t want to waste any more of my precious time. So, explain why I should give you the time and day.” He glances up, looking the other in the eyes. Wearing a cocky smirk. “I-I wanted to apologize, and maybe you could forgave what I did all those years ago..?” 

Kokichi nodded. “I’ll give you five minutes. Start talking.” 

“W-Well, I didn’t mean to make you upset because I thought…” Kokichi reminded himself not to interrupt. He was counting the seconds off in his head. Only half listening anyway. “...I didn’t think you cared that much. I thought you’d forget me and… I was wrong wasn’t I. Me and my parents were moving. I thought it would be easy to just stop talking to you because friends--” 

“Are stupid. Yeah, makes total sense.” He interrupted. Maybe it was because he was younger. Logic wasn’t really there. You’d just go with the first thought in your head. “N-No! No, Friends would be hard to keep over distance! I’m sorry for what I did. I was young and stupid. Can’t you just forget it…? We can be good friends again… Those guys won’t bully you anymore. Offer some mercy, I didn’t mean it.” 

“Mercy? Do you deserve mercy? No I don’t think so. I was perfectly fine without you. So can you just stop bothering me? Kay? Great! Glad we cleared that up! I’m leaving.” He hopped off the desk, once again leaving Shuichi behind when he was being told to wait. However, the hand that grabbed his shoulder did halt his foot about to step outside the door. 

“H-Hear me out! I don’t have any friends here even if I’ve been going here far longer than you. And you don’t have anyone right? Wouldn’t it be better to stick together? Kokichi, remember how it used to be?” He sighed. Kokichi pushed his hand off. “... As much as think whole chasing me thing is cute, I don’t need friends. I’ve have enough of those things. So please Shuichi? Let me go.” 

The other didn’t like that. “I’ve spent a lot of time regretting what I did. I wished I could make it right. Then fate puts you in the same spot as I am. Kokichi, can’t I make it right? I’m not just going to simply let you go.” The words were sweet. No one ever really told him that before. He turned around. Looking up at him. “...Learn to.” It wasn’t as harsh as he wanted it to be. It came out more gently, like someone with more patients. He wanted to except Shuichi’s open arms, but something was stopping him. He wasn’t going to feel that burn again. 

Especially from him. 

“...I’ve been trying. It’s hard. I-I’ve always thought of you...it’s just hard to…forget you..” His eyes portrayed sadness. Maybe on the brink of tears. As if he was breaking up with someone he loved so much. It was enough to make Kokichi tear his eyes away. It hurt him too much to look at. “Fine. Don’t let me go. But I swear things will be easier when you do.” 

“You’re one to talk. Holding this grudge against me is probably making you suffer.” 

“Shut up.” 

“No! I’m not go--” 

“No, Shut up, someone's coming.” 

He stopped talking. Kokichi wasn’t lying when he said he heard someone coming. He peeked his head outside the door and saw two men walking down the halway. They definitely didn’t look like teachers. “Who--” “Shh.” The men were talking. 

“They should be in one of these rooms.” 

“Both of them? That was easy.” 

“I know right?” 

It was quiet but Kokichi caught the gist. He backed up from the door. Bumping into Shuichi. “What’s wrong?” Kokichi looked up at him. “I’m making a wild guess, but those guys out there are looking for either two delinquents or us. Well, that doesn’t make too much of a difference but I think we should make our leave.” Shuichi gave him that notorious confused look. Looking out the room himself. The stupidity he has amazed him. 

“K-Kokichi, don’t you know who they are!?” Shuichi was suddenly pale and looked terrified. “No, who are they?” His calm attitude about this seemed to irk the other. Shuichi grabbed both of Kokichi’s shoulders. “T-That’s t-team Danganronpa. Uniforms and all! I-If they are looking for us then…” Kokichi snapped his fingers in front of his face. “Hey, Hey, Shuichi calm down. I’m sure it’s not that bad.” 

Shuichi shook his head, “N-No, they take teens and force them into a k-killing game! You don’t understand...People our age are legally signed off to them...Our lives are no longer ours! _We could die Kokichi._ Whatever they want, they have it. They can screw with our memory, replace it with others… Kokichi, does this not b-bother you?!” 

If Shuichi yelled any louder, there was no point in trying to hide. “Of course it does Shuichi. I’m not that emotionless.” He hissed back. Now that he thought about it. He did remember skimming some fandoms and Danganronpa was a rather popular one. “...How did our lives get signed away? I didn’t sign anything.” Kokichi stated, mentally panicking. “T-They go to our parents or who ever is our guardian… Th-They must have bribed my uncle… N-No…. He wouldn’t do that to me… he wouldn’t…” 

That meant his parents agreed to this. It didn’t surprise him. He’s always known they hated him to some degree. “W-What do we do?” Kokichi asked, cursing his stutter. He was afraid. An emotion he hadn’t felt in a while. “N-Nothing...They’ll find us no matter what...It’s pointless to run…” His eyes were glossy. Hope drained. The point was lost. “W-Wait, no, hey, I-I thought we were going to be friends here. Don’t give up on me again. Come on, we can do something.” He grabbed Shuichi’s hand. “W-Were..” 

“Shut up. Yes. Fine. We can be friends. Just don’t look like that.” He didn’t really know if what he said was a lie or not. He intended it to be. Just for Shuichi’s sake. But once he said it, it sounded like he was speaking the truth. He didn’t have much of a plan. So he ran right out of the classroom. The window wasn’t an option on the second floor. 

The two men immediately spotted them. Taking up a run after them. Kokichi and Shuichi both still holding hands, stumbled down the stairs to find an exit. 

Bad luck. They weren’t prepared to run into more of the Danganronpa team. They really spared no expense. Meaning, there were two guys in each hallway and eventually they were closed in on. 

...

They were roughly thrown into a car after having their ankles and wrists taped together. 

“I-I told you it was pointless to run…” Shuichi whimpered, Kokichi bit his lip. He was right. “...Well at least we didn’t sit there and go down easy. That’s the worst way to go. I once heard someone say ‘Ya either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain’ Wanna be a villain with me?” He shouldn’t be joking around at this point. Shuichi’s silence was proof of that. “Hey! Why are we so important?” He asked his ever so lovely driver. 

“Saihara is the Protagonist to the new season and you will play antagonist. Now shut up before I gag you both.” 

That sounded cool and terrifying at the same time. Shuichi wasn’t responding anymore. Some friend he was. 

At some point they pulled over. “What are you doing?” He asked when the door pulled open. “We have to put you to sleep. Say your prayers because you aren’t waking up in this world.” 

He gulped. 

____________________ 

It was cold when he woke up. 

His head was screaming at him. His eyes failing to open when he wanted them to. He felt the space around him. Small and condensed. But fear wasn’t a feeling he felt, although he expected it. In fact. He felt a smile creep along his face. Why was he happy at this outcome? 

Locker. 

It felt like a locker. He gave one hard push against the door and it flew open. He stumbled forward but he caught himself before he could fall. Such elegance. He looked down at himself. White uniform. His uniform. Just like his D.I.C.E. members. At least he had that in this place. He looked around with enthusiasm. A cheerful attitude with him, masking his concerns. A mechanical boy was here. A robot? Awesome. 

A thought stood out in his mind. A strong prominent thought. Words that seemed to be bolded. 

**I am the Ultimate Supreme Leader.**

He knew that. He’s always been a leader. Yet it seemed new information at the same time. 

He joked around with the robot calling him robophobic. He thought it was funny. Hilarious. It made him want to tease him more. Suddenly the door opened to this high tech- yet overgrown classroom. A blonde stepped in, another ultimate. He easily assumed. He introduced himself. 

“I’m Kokichi Ouma! The Ultimate Supreme Leader!” 

Of course, he knew that. He’d make them know that by heart one day. He spotted a boy behind her. Shy looking. Gripping the brim of his hat. Raven haired, dim amber eyes from what he saw. Soft look about him. He wondered what talent he had. Ultimate Baseball player? He had the hat. But definitely not athletic. “I-I’m Shuichi Saihara… Ultimate Detective… Although I don’t think I deserve that title…” 

Kokichi was half listening. A little distracted. Because this boy was gorgeous. Being a Detective only made him more attractive. 

Just pepper in some confidence and take the hat off and Kokichi had himself a permanent crush. 


	5. The End

_The game was awful._

There were ups and downs. But mostly downs.

__

If life only built him up to crash down here, to get crushed under a block of metal... Then he really, truly hated life. He deserved nothing but a place not even the most evilest of demons could reach him.

__

His mind tortured him to his last hell before blinking out of existence... Granting his wish.

__

...

__

_Taking place after the game, in a place that wasn’t dark nor light. Two meet for the last time._

“Sh-Shuich! P-Please!” He snapped his jaw shut. Not wanting anymore words to escape. He made a mistake, that was a big mistake. The other boys expression changed, only slightly. “I told you to leave me alone. You… You.. I can’t even put my thoughts into words.” Maybe he couldn’t. But he didn’t have to. The way he said his words had a crisp and sharp edge to them. His mask had too many cracks in it. Too many. He was struggling to keep it together.

“I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to…” He uttered. Shuichi’s glared at him. “But you did. You did and nothing can change that.” His voice was deeper. Kokichi felt his lip quiver, how pathetic. Ultimate Supreme leaders don’t cry. “...So you were that happy when I died.” It wasn’t a question. He knew they were. A clear statement. “I laughed. I wouldn’t of if I was going to see your looks again.” He spit in his face. Kokichi’s legs felt weaker than when the poison coursed through his veins. “I-I’m sure you did…” He drifted off to a whisper.

“So no. I will not forgive you.” His words pierced his heart. The knife pulling, pushing, and twisting in whatever way it wished. He couldn’t hold himself together any more. Shuichi was the only one he grew to love. He couldn’t take his last fragments that used to be called his heart and crush them into tinier pieces. He wanted to feed off someone’s kindness. He wanted it to be Shuichi. But it was clear that Kokichi was the one he hated, not loved.

He reached out to him but the other didn’t reach back. His legs weakly failing him, falling to the ground. “This is how I felt you know.” He said, watching him fall on his face. “You forced me to send one so innocent to death, you made me send my best friend to his undeserved fate. You parasite.” Kokichi choked on the tears he’s been trying so hard to keep down. Dragging in ragged breaths. “...Y-you’re killing me Shuichi… y-you’re killing me.” He mumbled, trying not to cry, he didn’t want to cry.

“Then I hope you die. I didn’t mind watching your death over and over again. You deserved it. You should of been the one to die at Gonta’s trial, if not, then at Kaito’s.” He grabbed Kokichi’s head by his hair forced him to look at him. “I meant it, you know. You’re alone, and you always will be.”

“...I was just trying to live… I was just trying to end the game… I was trying...I tried… I know I failed but I was trying my best…” His voice cracked, his heart shattering further. “No one cares. No one bothered to know what you tried or didn’t try to do. You are useless. Just a plot in a story. Your soul purpose in the game was just be a love sick antagonist. I won’t feed you your sick needs.” He let Kokichi’s head drop to the floor. He stepped away from him.

“...Y-you’re… you… I-I...I..” He couldn’t get any words out. If he cried he wouldn’t get love, if he pretended everything was fine nothing would change. “...What can I d-do to get you to give me...g-give me mercy…” He wanted to cover his ears but he felt too weak to. Shuichi laughed. “Give you mercy? Mercy?! You don’t deserve _MERCY._ ”

Kokichi whimpered, those words hurt too much. Too much. His real tears sliding down his cheeks and dropping onto the ground. Once it started, it couldn’t stop. The silent tears turned into loud sobs. Hiccuping, unsteady breathing. His body shaking with every new wave of shame and pain. “...S-Shuichi…” He cried, looking up to see the other just staring at him. “...kill me… kill me please, I can’t bare t-this… i-it hurts too much…” Shuichi only scoffed, “You underestimate how many nights I wanted someone to take the pain away. I wanted to DIE. I actually had friends, Ouma, friends. Killed off one by one and you’re whining over rejected love? Get over yourself.”

“IF K-KAEDE TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE A FAILURE IT WOULD HURT!” He screamed, he truly felt like he was dying. “...that you were an incompetent detective and did nothing right. If she screamed at you for killing her, you’d be upset…” He choked out, pitiful how broken he sounded. “It would. But she is a friend, something you’ll never have.”

“...Then end my sad and pathetic life, I-If you h-hate me so much…” The other boy laughed again. “No. I want you to suffer. If this is torture to you then I’ll happily watch you cry.”

“I-I’ll kill myself then…” He whispered. “You can’t, there’s nothing to kill yourself with.” Kokichi weakly smiled, it hurt to smile. It was really fake. “Watch me, y-you’d be surprised…” It was easy, suffocation. He fumbled with his scarf and tighten it so strongly it constricted his throat uncomfortably. He could immediately feel nauseous from lack of air. Shuichi was there though.

He rushed to him, untying the scarf around his neck roughly and throwing it aside. “...I-I don’t want to die...Shuichi, this is me suffering…Isn’t that what you wanted?” Shuichi ignored him. So Kokichi tried again. Unclipping one of his many clips on his uniform and was going use it to cut himself but Shuichi took that away too. “..Nee-heehee… why don’t you just strip me? I’ll find something, anything will do...”

Shuichi looked at him with disgust. “Fine. Die, I’d prefer that than falling into your perverted traps.” He tossed his clip back to him. Kokichi hastily grabbed it and without hesitation in harsh quick movements dragged the sharp part along his skin. Cutting it open, Blood trickling down his arm and he did it to the other. He was crying still, but this time with a smile. His heart was broken and the person he loved was getting a kick out of watching him die. “...C-Could I at least get one kiss…? Even i-if its out of spite..? P-please… final request….”

Shuichi considered it. He wasn’t all bad, Kokichi knew it, he was just blinded by anger. When he was dead he’d be crying just like he is now. “Fine.” Kokichi’s empty heart skipped a beat. He was actually getting closer, he was actually picking up his chin to get closer to his lips. “...I-I wish you loved me…” He cried, sitting up properly. “I wish I did too, that way I wouldn’t have to feel like you’re such a burden. But I don’t love you and I never will.”

His hot breath was on his lips and it made him squirm, The blood leaking off his arms were pooling beneath him. “...w-why can’t I be loved..?” Shuichi placed his hands on his shoulders. “Because you are you and no one likes you.” Kokichi sputtered, “B-But t-that wasn’t me…! I’m n-not like that..!” Shuichi let one of his hands down to one of Kokichi’s deep cut. Picking up his arm. “...It’s a little too late to tell me that, you’re dying and I can see it in your eyes. You were dying from the moment I met you.”

Shuichi’s hand had drops of blood on it from touching Kokichi’s arm. With his other hand he brushed the hair out of Kokichi’s crying eyes. “...I was made to love you…” He whispered in the smaller boys ear. “...It’s why I know what to do to make you break, I know how to make you feel… loved, but I don’t love you.” He kissed Kokichi’s neck, “...I want to feel the feeling of love for you but instead all I feel inside is hate…” He kissed his cheek, resting there, stopping. “I wouldn’t want to be in your shoes, I wouldn’t want to kill myself because I couldn’t handle the feeling of rejection by my soulmate.”

“S-Soulmate…?” Kokichi questioned, confused. Shuichi traveled to his forehead, kissing the spot he whacked his head on the wood in chapter 3. “How else was I made for you? We were meant to be, yet I don’t care for you.” He kissed the tip of Kokichi’s nose. “I can’t deny that I find you pretty, I can’t deny I have found myself longing for the love in my heart to be sparked. Nothing ever came. Just a burning hatred for your being.” He stopped before he kissed the others lips. “...I’m so sorry I don’t feel sorry… I hate you, I hate you so much.” His last whispers before he pressed his lips ever so gently to Kokichi’s. Causing his heart to flutter and made him forget about the pain in his arms.

All Kokichi expect was a peck but Shuichi was kissing him hard. Kokichi fell into his own temptation and kissed him back with just as much force. Only breaking apart when Kokichi couldn’t support himself anymore, collapsing against Shuichi, the loss of blood made him lose feeling in his body. Kokichi cried into Shuichi’s chest, while the other rubbed his back. He could feel himself slipping away, his life dwindling.

Shuichi brought Kokichi back to his lips, although Kokichi couldn’t do much, he focused on the feeling, the warmth, the false love he was getting. Shuichi let Kokichi breath. He wiped the tears from the half lidded eyes of his love starved enemy. Kokichi was growing colder and Shuichi didn’t care, he wish he did, but he didn’t.

“..S-Shuichi…” He breathed weakly.

“Yes?”

Kokichi sighed, preparing himself for what he was going to hear. “T-Tell me.. Tell me a lie, please… lie for me… before I leave you.” Shuichi held the boys small head, holding it in place. The tiny smile on Kokichi’s lips struck more fiery red hate. He hated it, he hated him so much, the flames of hatred burning down all logic. He kissed him gently, ever so softly. Cradling him like a mother might do to her baby. Kokichi loved this. Shuichi hated it. He agreed to Kokichi’s request.

“...I love you.”

And like that, Kokichi’s life was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you feel the angst? XD I've been wanting to write one. Put all that negative energy into something people can read. Authors do that, rite? Ha, well, hope you enjoyed


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